"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
