I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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