I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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