saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
