where am i from again
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
