"it" just moved
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
