Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
