i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
