Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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