I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
