Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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