$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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