i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
