This is not my ceiling
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
