We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
