That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
