I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
where does the pee come out of this thing
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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