it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
