Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
