There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
