We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
