Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
