Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's shark week go big or go home
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
