just tell him i said nine months
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
