My room smells like vodka and shame
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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