my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
