I heard we made out
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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