I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
