Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
