Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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