So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
