Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
