My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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