you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
