i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I will be naked everywhere
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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