We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
