so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they need to just BURY HIM!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
