I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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