Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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