there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
