I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Randomize