tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
