You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize