i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
