A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
