Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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