Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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