you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
