how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
