if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Two words: blizzard sex
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
