I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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