Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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