I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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