I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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