Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
