Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
