I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
