Already got asked if we're dating
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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