fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
