If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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