Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
