Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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