My friends, they love my intelligence
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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