you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
now i know why i became what i already was.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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